whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
