don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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