Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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