I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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