I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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