Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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