hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
