You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
