Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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