Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize