i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
