yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
