He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
