I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
