Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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