YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
