i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
