I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
