maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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