how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
