We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize