I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
