For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
