What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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