I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
