he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
