I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
