I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
