Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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