YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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