Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize