Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
