I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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