I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
