Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
