I just threw up on my dentist
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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