Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
