You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
