Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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