Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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