Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
