i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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