I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
