Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
