dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
