Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
