"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The air was thick with penises
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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