i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize