Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
