You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
