He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
