we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
