He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
