I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
