I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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