did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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