I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she told me i tasted like america
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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