Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
