dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
