You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
