This girl is more easily done than said...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
