In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
