so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize